Doing all I can do

I am not a rich man and I will probably never very rich. I come from a long line of blue collar, hard working people most of whom never graduated from High School. My Father worked ten hours a day, five days a week for his entire life and my Mother did the same while raising a very large family. Odds are very good I will never be able to do some grand thing that changes the world or effects the lives of millions. My greatest talent is stringing words together to form narratives.

Having said this, there is one thing that I can do very well that can at least help out a few people. I can cook and I can feed people who are hungry. Heck I actually enjoy doing both immensely. So every Sunday, when the “Feed the Elders” sign up sheet is passed around, either me or my amazing wife sign up for at least two days, usually one for each set of Elders. I also tell the Elders that if there is any day where someone doesn't sign up for or has to cancel for some reason, they are free to stop by our house and eat. I always cook too much food, so there is always food available.

Now, my family's financial state is not the greatest in the world right now. Because of the expenses of the move from GA to VA, money is spread a little thin. However, no matter how short money may be, I can darn well provide food to these amazing young people who work so hard for the Church and its members. Making sure they have food to eat is the least I can do to repay them for all they have done for us.

Much of my attitude comes from my Mom and Dad. Growing up, we were often dirt poor. There were times where, if we had not lived on farms, we probably would have gone pretty hungry. However, there was never a time when my parents ever turned away anyone who was in need. If someone showed up cold and hungry, they got dragged in front of the fire and fed whatever was available. No thought went into this, it was just simply the way things were done. We were poor, but we could feed people.

The Elders and Sisters of our amazing Church do so very much for us. I wouldn't be where I am today spiritually if not for all of their patience and determination not to let an old sinner stay lost. I wish I could do so much more for them, but all I can do is make sure they always have enough food to eat. I just pray that it is enough to begin to repay them for the gifts they have given me.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Renewing an old tradition

For a long time, I had a yearly tradition that I started long before the advent of Blogs, Facebook Posts and Tweets where I took a minute or three to write down all of the things that I was grateful from the previous years. I called the list my Great-Full List and even kept them in a small metal box for decades. Of course, over the course of 30 or so years, that box has long since vanished from 1000s of miles of travel and many different life changes. I recall that I did do one Great-Full a few years back on one of my blogs, but have long since fallen out of the habit of doing it.

Part of that, especially in recent years, is due to the fact that things have not been the greatest and I oftentimes felt that I had very little to be actually grateful for. Another part is sheer laziness. Between writing books and short stories and three very popular blogs, I have really felt that I didn't have the time or the energy to mess with this once yearly tradition that I followed for so long. Well, with all that has happened to me in such a short period of time, I feel that this is an excellent time to bring an old tradition back. I have so much to be grateful for so here is the first Great-Fulls list of a brand new tradition. Hope you like it.

I am grateful for my amazing Wife. She has stuck with me through hard times and good times while putting up with my insanity and oddness. She has loved me and supported me for over a decade and I simply cannot imagine life without her. Actually that is a lie, I have a very good imagination and can imagine my life without her, but it isn't a world I would want to have to live in. Thank you, Paula for being crazy enough to marry me and dedicated enough to stay with me.

I am grateful for my Family, both blood relations and the ones I have been fortunate enough to find as the years passed by. Being the oddball that I am, I have not always gotten along well with my blood kin, but I still love them and am proud to call them my family. Through the magic of the Interwebz, I have rediscovered several people who are not my family by blood, but by choice. Men and women who are just as much my brothers and sisters as my biological ones. Phil, Ben, Shag, Mary and so many more make me a better person and make my life better.

I am grateful for my newly rediscovered faith. Times right now are especially hard and I oftentimes wonder if things will work out. The love and support of amazing people that I had never even known half a year ago have given me a strength that keeps me going. I still have my doubts and fears, but I also believe that things will work out in the end.

I am grateful that, for the first time in 5 years, I have a job. Admittedly it is only a seasonal job which will end at the end of December, but it is employment bringing in some much needed income. I also have a chance at a job that I really wanted and that gives me hope for the future.

I am grateful that my health still continues to be well. As a Diabetic, I live in terror of the many complications that can arise from the disease, but so far in the four years I have been ill, none of the horrors one reads about have happened. I work hard to keep myself healthy and I am grateful that so far my efforts have worked.

I think that everyone has their own Great-Fulls and I hope most people see them even when things get hard and dark. What kind of Great-Fulls do you have? Do you recognize them? Do you appreciate them?

Amen

Blessings upon Blessings. I am not worthy.

So last Tuesday I contracted what I thought was going to be a minor cold. I get them often because of the suppressed immune system effect of Diabetes. I am usually sick for a few days and then feel better. Well, needless to say that didn't turn out like I expected. Instead, I wound up with a serious body wracking, lung tearing “Gee why won't someone shoot me” kind of cold that is stilll going on 10 days later with no sign of stopping even though I am feeling better.

During this period I had to return to Georgia with my wife to try and get our old house cleaned out and ready to rent. I was so sick that she had to drive the entire 1500 mile round trip by herself and I am ever so proud of her for doing that. Thank God we managed to get almost everything done that we needed to do even though I was barely able to breath the entire trip.

I want to give a MAJOR Shout out to our Elders who took it upon themselves to take care of our 7 (Yes 7) animals while we were gone. The biggest worry that I always have when we are out of town is that something will happen to one of the 5 cats and two dogs that we proudly own. It is a truly wonderful group of young people who are willing to come into someone's house twice a day to feed animals and scoop litter boxes. It is an even more amazing group that is willing to pick up the rather substantial amounts of poop that my two horse dogs leave behind. When we got back, all the animals were healthy and the house was spotless from an animal residue. Way to go, Elders! My Elders totally rock!

While I was gone, one of my Geezer class members, Brother Schneider texted me and asked if I needed a blessing before my cold. I said no for two reasons. One I felt at the time it was a very minor cold and also I kind of felt like I was being greedy. Not a month before I had the Flu. (Suppressed Immune Sytem strikes again.) and had been the recipient of a Blessing that did me wonders so I felt like I was being greedy asking for another.

Well, once we got back I had changed my tune. I literally had not slept more than two hours a night in over a week and I was so sick that I truly felt like I was dying. So I texted Brother Schneider and asked if I could still have the Blessing. He sent over Elders Berg and Wray who performed an incredibly uplifting and loving Blessing that had me feeling better moments after they were done. I was still sick, but I could feel their love and God's love coursing through my body. Now a day later, I feel better than I have in almost 2 weeks. Between their amazing gift and some very good medications from my new Doctor, I actually feel like I am going to be okay.

The Church has given me so many blessings since we joined. Love, support and more new friendships that I can even begin to count. Not sure if I truly deserve them all, but I am trying every single day to be worthy of these amazing gifts. I will probably never truly be worthy of them but I will never stop trying. God has given me so much in such a short period of time and I am truly Blessed

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

A Wonderful Announcement.

     It is only a seasonal job for 8 weeks or so, but it is great pay and it will do a lot to help us keep things together.  GOD IS GOOD!

I say this in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Love and Support paid forward.

So, Monday we found out that one of our Elders was really sick and stuck at home. This immediately brought out the Mother Hen in me. One of the things that was drummed into my head from an incredibly young age was that people always take care of each other. We lived out in the middle of nowhere with no Doctors or Ambulance Services, so if your neighbor got sick or needed help, you helped them. It didn't even matter if you liked them or thought of them as friends. In times of crisis, big and small, people came together to help each other out.

So, I fixed a large thermos of soup (Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup) and took it over along with some fresh baked Pumpkin Spice Cookies just to give him something healthy to eat and to let him know we cared about him. Both he and Elder Brown were extremely grateful and even seemed somewhat surprised that I would go to such lengths. I just smiled, nodded and accepted their thanks even though to me it was nothing impressive to do it.

Last night, the Elders were supposed to come over for dinner, but Brown called and told me that Berg's Bug had spread to other Elders so they would be unable to come over. I had prepared my famous 5 Bean Soup and Elder Berg was very excited since he “Hadn't had Bean Soup in forever.” I quickly decided that just because they couldn't come over, it didn't relieve me of my “obligation” to feed them as I promised. So I filled another thermos up with Bean Soup, packed some chips and the Halloween Candy we had bought them in a bag and set out. I stopped by the store and bought them some juice and some apples. I then happily delivered the Booty to the Elders with my dearest wishes that they feel better soon. Again, I was met with thanks and amazement.

I think the Amazement is what surprises me. When I was growing up, we were very poor and really didn't have a lot of food to spare most weeks. Winter was especially hard since we couldn't grow anything to eat so if we didn't grow enough during the Spring and Summer, things got tough. Despite all of this, I have many many memories of my Mom and my Grandmother cooking and delivering food and other essentials to people in our area who were sick and injured. Sometimes it was even delivered on foot if my Dad or Granddad weren't around to drive. Course keep in mind, the ladies didn't walk 5-10 miles to deliver the food, we kids did. :)

Back then, people took care of people in any way they could and I think that is an idea that has slowly lost its glamor over the decades since then. These days, most people are so busy trying to get ahead and to get stuff for themselves that they just don't seem to care about people around them. It is like a veil is drawn over their eyes to the needs of others.

As I have stated in previous blogs, that is one of the things I find most amazing about our Church and the people within it. Everyone seems to genuinely care about everyone else. The Church and its Leaders from the 1^st Prophet we have been so lovingly gifted with down to the Bishops of the Wards truly love and care for the members of the Church. When they ask, “How are you doing? Is there anything we can do to help?” you know that it is asked in complete love and sincerity. All of the Members of my ward and my good friend Stephanie's Ward that I have actually managed to get to know truly seem to care about me and my Wife's well being. The love and support we have received from people who, just a few months ago, were complete strangers is mind boggling and humbling.

So when I help the Elders or anyone else, I don't feel like I am doing anything extraordinary or amazing. All I am doing is taking the love and support learned from my Old Family and from my New Family and paying it forward. I think the whole world would be a little better off if we all paid it forward a little.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Home Visit, Spirit Renewed.

Well last night was our first Home Teaching Night and it was a very interesting experience to say the least. Two of my buddies from my Geezer class showed up and spent an hour or so with me and my wonderful wife. We joked and we talked about pretty much everything under the sun. It was amazing.

The main reason I found it amazing is the same reason I find the Church itself so amazing. One of the things I have spoken about again and again both here and in testimony is how much the Church feels like a Family and a Home. Ever since we began this trek, my wife and I have been overwhelmed by the truest sense of love, support and welcome that we have been gifted with from pretty much everyone. Not just in our Ward but in elsewhere as well.

Everyone has heard someone ask, “So how are you doing?” before and knew that the person was just being polite. You knew that they really didn't care if you were suffering or in need, they just asked because it is something programmed into us by society. You knew that the moment they were out of your sight, their attention and concern drifted to other things.

Last night, my Friends asked, “Are you guys alright? Are you doing okay? Is there anything We can do to help?” I almost had tears in my eyes from the sheer sincerity and compassion radiating out from them as they asked these questions. You could tell that these weren't just stock questions asked in rote. When I answered them back with our problems and fears, I could see the concern and kindness in their eyes as they promised to do everything they could to help us.

I think that is one of my main fears when it comes to testimony for people who have no experiences with the Church and its members. How do you get across to these people just how amazing it all is and how loving everyone is? Most of them have had the same cynical and devestating experiences with the world at large that I have and, much like I was, have become hardened to any real chance at love and compassion. So how do you show them the miracle that is our Family? I am a Master of words and even I am intimidated by the job.

I am new to the Church and I still have my fears and doubts. We face many crisises in just a few short weeks that would terrify anyone. Logically I know that so many things could still go wrong and force us to make some very harsh decisions. I get scared every day. It is only my newly rediscovered Faith in God, His Son and this fantastic extended family that we miraculously found that keeps me believing that things will work out okay.

My Friends left us feeling much better and much richer in Faith with nothing more than some kind words, a few spiritual thoughts and their overwhelming love. I am a very Rich Man.

Amen

Breaking Bread

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I was recently ordained into the Priesthood and it is something I am incredibly excited about and a little overwhelmed by. So I thought I would at least get a few weeks to adjust to the idea and maybe calm down a little, but that didn't actually happen. Instead, the first chance they got, my friends in the Church pretty much thrust me onto the front lines in a manner of speaking.

So after missing the previous week's services because of my injured foot, (Also see previous post) I arrived at services Sunday with my amazing wife and sat down to wait for services to start. Not seconds after I sat down one of the young men of the Priesthood came up to me and asked if I wished to help prepare and pass out the Sacrament. I immediately said sure even though I was suddenly very very nervous.

Even though both of the young men who prepared with me were very supportive and even tried to relax me by making a few very quiet jokes, I was abjectly terrified the entire time I was up there. I was convinced I was going to mess everything up and doom everyone to ever lasting torment because they didn't receive proper Sacrament. Even though I was incredibly proud to be standing up there and doing such an important task, I can honestly say I have never been more relaxed as when it was all over and I could return to my seat.

Still, I guess this is just another aspect of just how quickly my life has been changed since we began this Trek months ago. To me, it seems like only days since we first started investigating and mere hours since we were Baptized. To be inducted into the Priesthood and to be given such responsibilities in so short a period of time just adds to that seemingly breakneck speed.

I am impossibly proud of the gifts and honors that have been given to me. The trust and faith that so many people have shown in someone that they barely know is overwhelming. I will do everything in my power to be worthy of all of it and will work as hard as I can to keep advancing along my Trek. I just hope I am worthy of what has been given to me.

Amen

I just want to work.

I am facing a severe test of my recently rediscovered Faith right now. Part of me is truly struggling with all of the decisions we have made in the past few months and wondering just how things can possibly work out for us in the months to come. Right now, things do not look well and I am very much afraid that we will lose everything unless something just short of a miracle happens.

We knew that it was a potentially dangerous thing to do when we moved from Georgia to Woodbridge, VA. We had a house note there and were taking on a brand new house note here with absolutely no chance of selling the old house in GA. I had been unemployed for nearly 5 years in GA and knew that we would face serious hardships here in VA unless I could miraculously find some sort of employment here. We both agreed that, despite all of the possible issues, moving to Woodbridge was the best thing for our family.

Now after three months, I am worried. Despite my best efforts, I have yet to find any sort of job here. Our money is running short and within a few months we will be faced with some very real financial problems which could include losing one of our homes. I pray every day for some sort of guidance or help, but so far we are still struggling.

My Mother always used to say that “God never gives us an obstacle to big for us to overcome.” and I truly believe that, but I still worry. Everything in our future right now hinges on me finding a job, any job and so far I have found nothing.

The most frustrating part to me is the fact that I truly want to work. I don't care what kind of job I have or really how much it pays. I just want to work. Daddy taught us that a man who cannot work and take care of his family really isn't much of a man at all and I believe that is true. I am healthy, intelligent and willing to do any job anywhere, but I can't find a job. Before we moved it was annoying and inconvenient. Now with all of our new expenses and such, it is life threatening.

I am trying to have faith that things will work out. I keep praying for the strength to keep moving forward. It is selfish of me but I pray often for God to help me find a job, any job. So keep me in your prayers and maybe put in a few good words for me. God knows I need it.

Amen

Riding with the Missionaries

Last night, I had the privilege of riding with our two amazing Elders to visit some of the folks that they are teaching to help them find their way home again. It was a fantastic experience where we spent over an hour speaking to a wonderful woman and I am richer for the experience. I was there when she picked the date for her Baptism and even jokingly demanded an invitation to which I was assured I would have “a front row seat.”

The trip only reinforced my respect for all our our Missionaries which was already very substantial to begin with. It was cold and windy, but they soldiered on even though both were very uncomfortable. I have seen our Missionaries out in the worst kinds of weather possible doing everything they could to bring help to those who needed it. The first time I met our new Elder, Elder Berg he and Elder Brown had literally walked through soaking rain just to be with us that night. He literally looked like someone had tried to drown him.

I use the word determined a lot when describing the Elders and Sisters of the Church and it is a good solid word for them. Most people, myself included, would look at some of the things they do and think, “I could do that or I could stay in here where it is nice and dry and have some more Coffee Substitute.” Or “Yeah I could go out and try to reach people and help them, but it is cold and nasty outside so I will go tomorrow or the next day.” You don't ever see the Missionaries doing that.

Now I cannot say that the thoughts don't occur to them every now and then. They are human just like the rest of us so I am sure there are days they would much rather stay in bed and sleep than go out in rain/snow to perform their works. However, these brave and determined young men and women move beyond those impulses because they truly believe in the duties they have been given. In an era where so many young people want nothing more than to sit at a computer and play games all day, this ethic borders on the miraculous.

I keep hearing about the missions that I might be able to go on one day in the future and I am both excited and humbled. I am unsure if I can ever show the courage and dedication that I have seen not just in the young Missionaries, but in most of the people I have met in the Church. I am just going to have to keep learning both the lessons and the examples that are being shown to me and Pray that I am up to the task when the time comes.

Once our evening was over with, the Elders seemed surprised when I asked them, “How soon can we do it again?” I am eager to keep learning and growing so I might be worthy of the amazing gifts that have been given to me.

I say these things in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Cake and soup= LOVE

As I mentioned in the last piece, I recently did some severe damage to my right big toe. It is healing very nicely and the pain is much less than it was the day after the accident. I want to thank all of my readers who sent me well wishes and prayers, they definitely helped.

So because of the pain medications I am on, I missed Church this last Sunday. I was very sad because I look forward to services every week, especially my Geezer Class with the other Old Timers in our Ward. I did send a text to our Elders and asked if they could stop by that evening to fill me in on what I missed and just to cheer me up. They texted back a perky “Sure!”

So that evening, I get a phone call from our marvelous Sister Missionaries asking if they could stop by and see how I was doing. I told them they were always welcome. So these two amazing young ladies showed up with huge smiles on their faces and a mondo chocolate cake in their hands. They stayed with us for about an hour cheering me up and talking about Faith. I was sad to see them go since I very rarely get to spend time with this incredible ladies, but they had to leave as the Elders showed up.

The Elders arrived with two cans of delicious chicken soup and the same smiles and upbeat nature the Sisters had brought. We spent an hour or so just talking and sharing. Needless to say, by the time they left, I was feeling much more cheerful and feeling an almost overwhelming sense of love.

That is one of the most amazing things I have noticed about pretty much everyone I have met since we began this journey. Mormons have an almost overwhelming sense of Community and Family that I find so very lacking in most of the world today. Everyone seems to truly care for one another even when they aren't members of the same community/Ward. I have a grocery list of health issues ranging from Severe Migraines to Diabetes and Weakened Immune System. Every time I am ill (Which occurs on a pretty regular basis) everyone from the Bishop down to the newest Elder does everything they can to make sure I am doing alright.

I am always hearing people say that kindness and compassion seem to be in short supply these days and the news reports you see every day seem to bear them out. However I am certain of one thing. Within my Family, there is a abundance of all of these things and more.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Battered but grateful.

Grade A, Number one Owchie!

Being grateful for blessings can sometimes be truly a matter of perception. An event that most people would see as bad or depressing can easily be seen as a good thing if you really stop and think about it. Sometimes you have to stop looking at how bad some event is and realize that it could have been much worse if not for the Grace of God.

The other day, I was in the process of taking the garbage can down to the curb and as I was coming back, I slipped on something very slick and slid back down the hill behind our home. My right toe struck a rock with all of my 250 pounds of weight behind it. The nail was ripped up and folded halfway back over my toe and I am pretty sure the toe has been fractured. I also sprained my ankle in the fall.

Now most people would look at my badly swollen toe and ankle and think, “Wow what horrible luck” and in one sense they would be right. I am 50 year old Diabetic so injuries don't heal anywhere near as fast as they used to and I am in considerable pain even with pain medications given to me by the Doctor. I can barely walk and actually doing much of anything around the house is impossible.

However, I can be grateful to God that it wasn't much worse. I could have broken my entire foot or torn ligaments and such in my ankle. I could have been in a cast for weeks or even seriously injured myself in the fall. As it stands, my injuries were not serious or life threatening and I will heal slowly over the next few weeks.

God looks after us every minute of every day and takes care of us when we need him too. I could have been hurt much worse, but I escaped with minor damage perhaps as a object lesson to be more careful in the future. Thanks to His care and devotion, my greatest worry is what we are going to eat for the next week or so. My wife doesn't cook and I am currently incapable of it. Since I am a cook, pretty much all of the foods in the house require a couple of hours preparation. Money is super tight right now, so ordering out every night is not possible. However, we will make do and I will heal and I remain grateful to God for all he has done for me including watching over me when I took a spill down a hill.

Amen

Inspirations Twofold.

Two truly amazing and inspiring things happened Sunday during services that made me contemplate the courage and determination some people have and also to humble me in a way that I didn't think possible. I left church feeling honored and unworthy of the amazing gifts I had been given.

As services started, I noticed Brother Gezzell escorting an elder woman slowly up the aisle to the front row. Her pace was slow and sometimes unsteady, but her determination was evident in every single step she took. When it came time for her to bear her testimony, she was helped slowly up to the podium where she spoke in a quiet, but strong voice. She explained that she had literally died six times. That is right, in the past she had flat lined more times than most people have gone to the hospital. She spoke of how each time she just wanted to give up and how she was just so tired and wanted to rest.

Then she spoke of how she was told again and again that it wasn't her time. While her heart wasn't beating, she heard that she still had much work to do before she rested. I personally cannot imagine the amount of faith and strength it must take to come back from what lies beyond 6 times. I cannot even begin to understand the devotion it must have taken for her to leave her Heavenly home and return to the world of man and pain. As she finished her Testimony and was helped back to the pews, all I felt was honored to have witnessed such a fantastic thing. I can only pray that I have that kind of faith and strength if I am ever faced with such trials.

After Services Bishop Harding took me to one side and asked me a question that I had been hoping to hear but wasn't expecting to be asked for several more months. He asked when I would like to be ordained into the Priesthood. I think I startled him when I said, “Now!” Still he smiled and went to gather my wife and all of those who would perform the service.

As we sat in that small room with my wife beside me and people I have only known a short time but who feel like old friends, I was struck with the realization of the honor and privilege being bestowed upon me. As Brother Snyder said the words that would change my life forever, all I could do was pray to Heavenly Father that I would be worthy of this honor.

Looking at all of the things that have happened to me, it is hard for me to fathom that it has only been a few short months since I began this Trek. Only three months or so since I questioned exactly what the heck I was doing and if I was doing the right thing. Now I stand with my Brothers and Sisters nervous still, but feeling the courage and strength I need to keep going forward. I thank God and all of those who have helped me find my way.

Amen

A New Edition to the Trek

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, our dear friend Elder Sahagun has moved onto where he can help others the way he helped us. To say that we miss him very much would be the under statement of the century. Still we have the memories we have made with him and those will stick with me for a very long time.

Elder Brown brought over his new companion tonight, Elder Berg and we had a pleasant hour or so getting to know the new guy. I rarely go with first impressions, but my first overall impression of Berg is that he is a friendly and intelligent young man with an excellent sense of humor. He laughed at all of really bad jokes and actually seemed amused by them. Whether this means he thinks I am funny or was simply being polite, I still liked him for it.

I have always believed that you can tell a lot about people from the way that animals react to them. We own a cat who is very skittish and very seldom takes to people right away. With Elder Sahagun, the first time Ferrari met him, he adored him and stayed close to him whenever he was over. The cat's reaction to Elder Berg was practically identical. This tells me that Berg is probably a good man who can be trusted. I like having that foreknowledge.

So many amazing people have come into our lives since we began this Trek months ago. All of the amazing people of our Ward have made us feel loved and appreciated. Total strangers who had no reason to care for us or work to help us. I can honestly say that we would have not made it this far if not for the love and support of all of them.

Now God has brought a new person into our lives and I know deep down in my heart there is much he can teach us and hopefully a few things he can learn from us as well. I look forward to many interesting and uplifting weeks getting to know Elder Berg.

Amen

Baptism Night

     Here are the photos from one of most incredible nights of our lives.  My wife and I and the two amazing Elders (Brown and Sahagun) who helped guide us on this amazing Trek.

Goodbyes are never easy.

How do you say goodbye to someone you have only known a short time, but who has fundamentally changed your life in ways that most people cannot even understand? How do you just let them walk out of your life while being faced with the very real possibility of never seeing them again at least not in this life? It is a question that I never really pondered before, but now I am being faced with a reality that forces me to ponder it.

As most of you know from reading the many steps I have taken along this amazing Trek, I went from a borderline Atheist/Deist to the waters of Baptism in just a few months. So many people have helped me along this path that it would take to long to list them. However, I would have to say in all honesty that most of that work was done by a very small group of young men.

After the wonderful Sisters met with us for the first few times, they introduced us to Elders Sahagun and Gates who began teaching my wonderful Wife and I about the Church, the Scriptures and the Faith. Sadly, Elder Gates had to leave not long afterward and we still miss him, but we got the joy of adding Elder Brown to our lives so there was joy too.

For months Elders Brown and Sahagun worked with us, taught us and became an incredibly important part of our lives. Literally it got to a point that if they didn't come over on Monday which was their day to teach us, the whole day seemed incomplete. They lovingly and calmly dealt with all of my fears and worries and guided me along this whirlwind trek Home. I literally would not be where I am today without them.

Now I am faced with the prospect of losing one of the Elders. Elder Sahagun has been called to serve someplace else and will be leaving our Ward on Thursday. Words cannot describe how sad that makes me. A young man who told me in complete earnestness that he believed helping me find my way home and be Baptized was one of the reasons God sent him to VA. Can you imagine how humbled I felt when he said that?

I can console myself with the knowledge that where ever he is sent, he will be helping people who need him just like he helped me. I can also take comfort that, at least for the time being, Elder Brown will remain with us to keep us going on the right track. I will miss Elder Sahagun(If for no other reason than I “borrowed” his last name for a funny short story I am writing.) and things are going to seem a lot more quiet around here once he is gone, but I thank God that I had the honor of being his student and hopefully his friend.

Amen

Love, Honor and Devotion will lead the way.

Sorry I have written a few days, but I have been battling a really nasty case of the Flu and at my age, that isn't as easy as it sounds. Still a week's worth of rest, some loving care by my amazing Wife and a truly powerful blessing by our incredible Elders last night and I seem to be on the mend. I feel more alert and more awake today than I have in the past week. With the grace and strength of God I will continue to get better.

After watching the Priesthood Conference last night and the first part of the General Conference today, I feel even more inspired and proud than I have over the whirlwind teaching and Baptism of the past few months. Listening to the inspiring stories and talks given by the leaders of our Faith literally gave me shivers occasionally. I think we are truly blessed to have these gifted people helping us and showing us the way.

I think the thing that touched me the most was something that probably seems very simple. As these men who have spent the majority of their lives serving God and Serving the faithful spoke, their voices would occasionally break with the true depth of their emotions. I would think that the vast majority of these speakers were raised as part of the generation that believed that “real men” never showed emotions or never shed a tear in a public place since that would be considered a sign of weakness.

And yet, as each man spoke, his voice would occasionally deepen and become scratchy as he remembered some particularly moving moment in his life. These older Gentlemen stood up in front of thousands live and millions around the world with tears in their eyes and love in their voices talking about just how amazing their lives have been. There was no shame on their faces for being “weak” or doubt in their voices for revealing the highs and lows they had experienced.

A Philosopher once said, “Showing strength real or imagined is simple. It is in our very nature to hide our pain or shame. Only one who is truly strong can stand before his fellow man and show that he is less than perfect.” Even today, boys are taught that showing weakness is unmanly. They are taught that real men don't cry or show their fears. For some reason, this also seems to translate into “Don't show emotions” at least not grand amounts of it and certainly not in public. Some people even find it a little frightening or daunting to show how much they care about the things they love.

So to see these amazing men standing in front of the entire world and being moved to tears and broken voices over their love of God and the lives he has given them makes me think that the path of our Faith and our Church is in good, solid hands because our Leaders have been truly blessed and touched by God.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Food for thought

I missed church today. Now before somebody starts yelling at me, allow me to modify that statement. My wife and I missed our regular services because we drove to Leesburg to attend services with our wonderful friends the Gissemans. Stephanie's oldest daughter is about to leave on her Mission and today was the last day she would be speaking before her departure. Needless to say, we couldn't miss this for the world.

As we attended services I was struck with two ideas. I think the two ideas kind of best frame some of the brightest points in the Mormon Faith. The two concepts were: Family and Service. Some of the people I have mentioned the Mission to were astounded that Stephanie would allow her daughter to go to Honduras which is easily one of the most dangerous spots in the world. One person even said, “No Real Mother who loved her child would allow them to be sent into such danger.”

A part of me can understand these thoughts. The girl is going into dangerous lands with nothing more to protect her than some bug spray and her Book of Mormon. If something does happen to her, her family is a very long way off. It is a little scary to contemplate for me so I can only imagine how it is for her parents.

However, one of the most basic tenets of Mormonism is service. Service to God, Service to the Church and Service to your fellow man. There is nothing in any of those ideas that reads “Service when it is safe and comfortable for you.” People that seem like children to my ripe old age of 50 go to some of the most dangerous places in the world to serve the people that need their help and try to bring them closer to God. They do this with no hope of rewards greater than helping their fellow man and the joy that the service will bring.

As newly come to the Faith that I am, I often wonder of I can be so brave when the time comes for any children I have to serve. I like to think that I am and I pray that I will be if and when that time comes.

The other aspect I saw portrayed today was Family. Not just our blood family, but the extended spiritual family that has been gifted to us for our Faith. I had never been to Stephanie's Ward before today, but I was made to feel very welcome. Complete strangers came up to me and expressed their joy in having me there and were completely sincere in that joy. I was mildly miffed that the story of my near drowning during my Baptism had already spread, but took it in good spirits.

After services, I was treated to an amazing afternoon with Stephanie and her extended family. I was treated to laughter and funny stories and even some good natured teasing. I saw Generations of the same family seated at the dinner table celebrating the Mission and simply celebrating each other. It felt amazing.

I have so many things to give thanks for since beginning this Trek and it feels like each new week just gives me more and more reasons. I am grateful for all I have seen and learned and grateful for all the things to come.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Heading uphill towards Home

This afternoon just proves to me that you can get inspiration from any source at any time and turn it into some sort of Testament if you know where to look and stop to think about it for just a minute. It doesn't always come in Church or in Prayer, but can often come from a simple event in day to day life if you can just see it.

I have recently started riding my bike again in an attempt to help keep my blood sugar under better control and get back into shape after not exercising for quite some time. I enjoy riding because I always feel so energized and happy after a good hour long ride. However, due to the fact that I am badly out of practice riding, it can be very tiring too. Especially on hills which are very plentiful here in VA.

Right outside of our neighborhood, if you turn left, there is a very very very long hill. It isn't exceptionally steep, but it is very long. Needless to say, in my current condition, getting to the top of that hill every day is a very big challenge. In my current state, I generally ride about half way up it then wind up pushing the bike the rest of the way to the top. Eventually my goal is to be able to pedal my bike all the way to the top but that is still a wee bit in the future.

As I reached the “Okay I walk from here” point today, I pondered how getting out of my neighborhood was really hard because of that hill, but at least getting back into it was easy because it was all down hill. Then it struck me that this was a great analogy for Faith and Devotion to God. How being on a true path to Salvation was like trying to ride your bike up a very steep hill and how taking the path away from God was like coasting downhill.

Think about it. Doing the right thing is never easy. My Father always said, “Bobby, if doing the right thing was easy, everybody would do it.” The Path to God is fraught with obstacles both of our own making and ones put in front of us from the outside. We stumble and we struggle every day to do the right thing and follow the right path so that we can be worthy of Heavenly Father's gifts and love. I struggle every day with blocks that range from the simple (I SO MISS COFFEE!) to the sublime (Is this the right path for me? Am I making the right choices?) Every step along this Trek is never easy and sometimes difficult.

On the other hand, giving up and returning to the old ways would be so easy. After all, I went without His love for decades. I avoided religion like the plague. I never worried about whether I was doing the right thing or following the right path. Why not just stop trying to peddle uphill and coast? Downhill is always easier and so many people seem to choose that path. Why keep struggling with my Faith and Fears when I can just go and coast?

I keep riding my bike even when it is tiring because I Know that it helps me. I know that all of the hard work will pay off in the long run with better health and a better attitude. Sure it is hard work sometimes, especially on that first massive hill, but if I keep going everything will be better.

My Faith is very much like that. Everyday I face obstacles that it would be very easy to avoid. I stand at the bottom of a steep hill and ponder if it is really worth it to climb that hill to get to my goal at the top. I am tempted to just relax and take the easy way. However, I know that God is waiting for me at the top of that massive hill. I know that the rewards I will receive once I get there are worth any efforts and pains I might undergo along the way. So I am going to keep climbing that hill even though I am so very tired because I know Home is waiting for me when I get there.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Another type of Testament

     (Bear with me on this one.  This is actually written for one of my other blogs, but I felt the description of the journey I was forced to undertake would give my readers here a unique perspective into exactly how far I have come over the past few years with the help of God and all of the amazing people in my life.  Even though it is not my usual Testament, I hope that you find it inspiring and uplifting and maybe just a little bit funny.  Thank you all.)

 

For those who have just joined us, I am a Diabetic and have been for several years now. I became one out of a combination of genetic predisposition and outright stupidity. The genetic part comes from the fact that my Mother was a Diabetic and so were several people on both sides of my family so I was genetically predisposed towards contracting the disease to begin with. The stupid part comes in when I completely and utterly ignored this fact.

Before I got sick, I weighed 360 pounds (Maybe more, our scales didn't go any higher than 350.and ate pretty much everything I wanted to in insane amounts. My favorite snack was a two liter of Coca-Cola and one of those GIANT Hershey's with Almond Bars. Yeah, that was my snack. I drank at least 4 or more 16+ energy drinks a day and could easily snarf down a dozen donuts all by myself. Now all the experts will tell you that you cannot contract Diabetes from simply eating too much sugar and they are correct. (Of course they are correct, they are the experts after all.) However you sure can push your luck to the breaking point and that is what I did.

Now I am not doing this little piece to whinge about having to take pills and jab myself in the belly with a syringe every night. I am man enough to admit that I brought it on myself and strong enough to accept the consequences of my earlier choices. Truth be told, contracting Diabetes may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, okay second best after meeting my amazing wife. Getting sick forced to me to make lifestyle choices that I would have never made if the threat of DYING hadn't been introduced.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007A53SC0

For those who haven't read it yet, this book describes my discovering I had the disease, my initial reactions to it and the journey I undertook to change my life. It talks about how my life has changed both physically and spiritually. All proceeds from the sales of this book go towards combating Juvenile Diabetes. Please buy and help us find a cure. (Reviews and star ratings would be great too.)

No, this little piece is talking about all of the amazing developments in science that have helped me live a somewhat healthy (Still backslide sometimes) life free of excessive carbs and loads of sugar. No, I am not talking about new advances in drug treatment even though those have been amazing. I am not talking about the astounding technological advances. (Artificial Pancreas anyone? Targeted Insulin Delivery Systems? How about growing brand new organs from stem cells? Geez Science Fiction 20 years ago anyone?) Nope, this talk is about sugar free food and drink products.

Now, when I was a kid, Diet Drinks might have just as well been Dying Drinks because only desperate people actually drank them. Early attempts at sugar free foods produced foods that might have been vaguely nutritious, but had the taste and texture of wood. Sugar free chocolates and other candies were still the pipe dreams of people everywhere and don't even get me started on cereals where even the Corn Flakes had added sugar. I always tell people, semi-jokingly, that if I had become a Diabetic twenty or thirty years ago, I would have either died of starvation or sugar overdose.

These days, I have found so many incredible foods, drinks and snacks that are not only Diabetic Friendly, but taste great. One of our favorite stops when we go back to see my In-laws is the Russel Stovers Factory Outlet where they have, literally, aisle after aisle of sugar free snacks. Diet Coke and Pepsi still taste pretty much the same way they did 20 years ago, but Coke Zero and Pepsi Maxx taste close enough to the original that it doesn't even matter. There is even a delicious Pasta that is Diabetic Friendly. Not to mention a bevy of Sugar-Free Energy Drinks.

I can credit many things with my not only surviving Diabetes, but actually thriving. My Amazing Wife who supported me and cared for me all of this time. My incredible friends who never gave up on me. Even my sometimes spotty Faith helped keep me going and now that I have rediscovered my Path, keeps me strong and uplifted. However, I acknowledge that I am only human and beset with the same temptations that plague everyone every day and I am certain that I would have succumbed to those temptations far more than I have if it hadn't been for the relatively new dietary options available today.

In closing, I want to acknowledge all of the scientific research that indicates that many of the artificial sweeteners used in these products can be bad for you. (Seriously though folks, Aspartame is not the evil substance that all of the Facebook Posts make it out to be. That is a hoax perpetrated by parties unknown and continued by people who don't bother to do their own research and believe what they read on the Internet. ( http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/aspartame.asp) However, there are many natural Diabetes Friendly sweeteners out there now and many popular brands including Coca-Cola are starting to use them. In the end, I offer the same advice for non-sugar sweeteners as people off for sugar and high calorie foods. Everything is okay as long as you take it in moderation.

Amen and God Bless

Grinding away at my obstacles

After a visit list night from our amazing Elders Sahagun and Brown, I realized that I had failed to post a funny and somewhat spiritual story about what happened last Thursday when the Elders came over to give us our final briefing before the Baptism on Saturday. I thought it was funny and the Elders told me that they greatly enjoyed and appreciated what happened.

First of all a little bit of background. I LOVE coffee. I have been drinking it since I was 12 and never started a day without at least two mugs of it. Now let me clarify, I was not addicted to it because of its caffeine content. For caffeine, I am thoroughly addicted to Red Bulls and other energy drinks. I am working on that and that is another story entirely.

When we first started on this Trek, I very seriously told the Elders that I would take it as a sign from God that I was on the right track if I discovered a Coffee Substitute that tasted exactly like real coffee or else I knew I would be unable to give up Coffee as per Church instruction. There was also a little something about sugar free sour gummi worms too, but that is also another story. My wonderful wife looked far and wide for a non-coffee substitute, but I had little hope of her succeeding.

Finally just a month or so ago, she discovered an amazing “Herbal Coffee” Brand that contained absolutely no coffee but was made from Chicory, Malt and other sources. (http://teeccino.com/category/11/Herbal-Coffees.html) just in case any of you want to try it. They also have an extensive selection of Herbal Teas. So after a few trial and error attempts, I discovered two different types of Teeccino which taste exactly like coffee but contain no coffee beans at all. So I could still have my “Coffee” when ever I wanted and still obey Church Rules. Needless to say I was ecstatic. (As a side note, the “Coffee” is great because it supplies energy and taste naturally without caffeine or acids like coffee does so I can enjoy it any time of the day even right before bed without losing sleep.)

So on Thursday, just as they were about to leave, I asked the Elders if they would help me with something. I handed them my very large tin of coffee and asked them if they would like to take it downstairs and toss it in the trash can out back. You would have thought it was Christmas and I had just given them the best presents ever. They trotted downstairs and I watched as one held the trash can lid while the other gleefully flung the coffee tin into the trashcan. (I believe Sahagun held while Brown tossed, but I don't remember clearly.)

They later told me it was one of the best moments in their time here in VA. I was glad I could give them yet another chance to know just how much they have helped me with their love and support. I am still working on wanting coffee. Any time I pass by a Coffee Shop or walk past the coffee aisle in the Grocery Store I am tempted. However, I am greatly enjoying my Herbal Coffee and look forward to trying some of the other types. I guess it shows that even with the simplest of things, if you need him to God will show you a way.

Amen

So close but yet so far away.

“For every gift that God gives you in your life, the Devil will place two obstacles in your way to keep you from moving forward.” Betty Sue McLeod

So today I attended a second round call back for one of the jobs I had applied for last week. I arrived early and was dressed very smartly in one of the shirts I got from Gifts of the Heart and one of the two jackets I was lucky enough to get there as well. I aced the initial interview, impressed my two handlers who went out to evaluate me. I impressed in the final interview section and received glowing praise from my handlers. They told me that I had the job! Then they told me the hours and that pretty much blew my elation out of the waters.

See, currently my Wife and I have only one car. We cannot afford another vehicle right now. Well, let me modify that statement. We cannot afford a vehicle that would pass the very stringent Virginia Safety and Emissions Standards without spending even more money getting the car up to spec. So my Wife has to be at work at 0700 hours Monday-Friday and gets back to Woodbridge, VA around 1630-1730 every afternoon. There can be some slight variable in that schedule but not a lot. So when I was told that My hours would be from 1130-1800 hours Monday-Friday, my heart sank because I knew that there was very little chance of us being able to work that out.

Sure enough, after She spent several hours working at the problem we couldn't find a single solution that would work for us. We looked at bus schedules, train schedules and even pondered Her riding with her best friend to her house and waiting for me there until I got off work. This was the most viable plan but would involved spending money we don't have on a lot of gas plus putting 500+ miles a week of wear and tear on the car. In the end, we decided that it just wasn't possible. So I called my Interviewer and informed him that I would be unable to take the job.

Now a part of me is truly worried. What if all of the jobs I might find are of similar make? Without a car, it is going to be more difficult than I believed to find a job that works for both of us. My Wife's job must always have top priority because her income is significantly higher than anything I could possibly hope to make, at least for the first year or so. What if I can't get a job that will allow us both to use the car?

Of course, ideally we should just get another car, but that goes back to the old Catch 22 idea. I need a car to get a job, but I need a job to get a car. With two house notes and bills for two houses, we just don't have the kind of money to buy or even get a loan for the kind of car that might possibly be drivable in this city. It is beyond frustrating to say the least.

Still I have faith that something good will happen. I know that we came to this city for a reason and I have come too far to give up now. I just have to keep trying, praying and hoping. Any happy thoughts and prayers sent our way would be greatly appreciated. We most certainly need all the help we can get. God will provide if I just have faith.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

First Steps on a Brand New Trek

After a very exciting and a little scary (Slipped in the font while being dunked. Lol) Baptism last night, today was the day that my amazing Wife and I were confirmed as members of the Church and received the blessing of the Holy Ghost. Having all of the people who have supported and encouraged me over the past few months there with us just made the experience even more amazing. I am honored by the gift that was given to me.

Being the sort of person I am, before the Confirmation, I read dozens of accounts from people who had received the Holy Ghost and how it affected them. Most of the ones I read talked about the person instantly felt the power of the Holy Ghost flow through them when the Confirmation was performed. My experience was a little different.

I can honestly say that I didn't feel some overwhelming force pass through me as I received the Holy Ghost. I wasn't instantly charged with its power and changed forever in an instant. What I did feel was an incredible sense of Love and Support flowing not just from the Priests performing the ceremony, but from every single person in the Church. The waves of Compassion and pure unadulterated Love flowed over me like waters on the beach.

Ever since we started this Trek, I have been given more than most people experience in their entire lives. Kindness and friendship eased every single bump and fear I encountered. All of this was given without any sense of a need for a return. The Brothers and Sisters I met reached out simply because they felt the need to. Not once did I feel that they were doing these things out of some desire to force me along a path that I did not want to follow.

I have had experiences with many different Sects of Christianity over the decades and almost universally the “True Believers” were aggressive and oftentimes condescending. They made me feel as if I was lower than low because I did not believe the way they did. In their “devotion”, they easily drove me away even when I wanted to learn and believe.

Today just proved all that I have seen and felt during the past few months. I stood in front of my Family in my Home with my heart and soul bared for all to see. Not once did I sense any judging or questioning of my Heart and Soul. Everyone there was proud of me and happy that I had finally made my way Home. I hope that each and every one of you have felt or will one day felt how amazing that feels.

Today was just the first step on a brand new Trek and I know I still have a long way to go before I am deserving of the trust and love that all of you have given me. With God's strength and love, I know I will make it as far as I need to go. With the Love and Friendship that my Brothers and Sisters give me, I know I do not have to make that trip alone. Thank you.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

I survived the Ritual Drowning! (My Wife's joke)

So tonight was the big night. The night when my Wife and I take the plunge in both a literal sense and spiritual sense and get Baptized. Needless to say I was a nervous wreck all day long, but we managed to get dressed and get to the Church on time. Seeing so many friends, old and new there with us to share this moment was amazing. I felt an astonishing amount of love coming from every person there.

Two of the Members of my Geezer class truly moved me with words I was not expecting. Brother Gezzell looked me right in the eye and said that he loved me and felt like he had known me all of his life even though we met only a few short months ago. Brother Tibbetts gave a truly inspiring talk on the Holy Ghost and seemed so proud to be up there speaking for us. He later told me that it had been a Honor to be chosen to speak for me. Choosing a speaker from my class wasn't easy because they are all so amazing, but I am glad he was there to speak for us.

The actual Baptism was equal parts inspiring/scary and uncomfortable. The jumpsuit given to me to wear was a little tight across the chest and in the legs, so needless to say when it got soaked everything shrank up and got really binding. Elder Sahagun did a marvelous job Baptizing me and my Wife and I am pretty sure he saved my life because when I came back up from the dunking, my right foot slipped and I went back under again. Somehow, the slim young man managed to keep hold of me AND pull me back up again. At 235 pounds, I am a hefty guy but he managed it. Must have been adrenaline.

After we got dried off, we went back into the church for the rest of ceremony. My Wife's best friend, Stephanie gave a wonderful speech and touched us when she said they considered us part of her family. By the time it was all over, I felt truly loved and cherished.

So tomorrow is the day when we are Confirmed and that final step will start us on the next stage of our Trek. As we go along, I will try to chronicle it here for you to see. I am sure we still have many adventures and misadventures still to come. I hope you will stay with me as I tell them all.

I apologize for the shortness of tonight's post. It has been a long and very tiring day. I will be more verbose tomorrow after a good night's sleep. Good night every one and God Bless.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Thank you all for joining me on this trek.

It is funny, but I initially started this blog as a way of helping me think about all of the things that have happened to my family since we started our Trek Home. I never pondered if it would reach anyone else or even if it would be read by others. It really was just a way of gathering my thoughts and trying to understand everything that is going on. I never imagined that there would literally be hundreds of people out there who would read this words and respond to them the way that people have.

For those who don't know, I am an Author by trade. I have been putting pen to paper (First literally and later figuratively) for 34 years. I have had some modicum of success with several short stories published as well as literally 1000s of articles printed over the years. Recently I have published 4 books which have sold fairly well. Words are my living and how I frame the world I see around me. So when Paula and I first started our journey, I did what I always did and wrote about it. I don't think it ever occurred to me that my words might in some way touch others.

In the few short weeks since I began this journal, several hundred people have read the words within. They have read about my struggles and my revelations. They have watched as my faith and my hopes grew and strengthened. They have cried when I cried and cheered when I cheered. In a very real way, my readers have become a part of my Church's Extended Family even though they live all over the world.

That is right, all over the world. This blog now has readers in over a half dozen countries including England, France and incredibly enough China! People who might not even read or speak English log on every day and read about the latest chapter in this new life of mine. You cannot imagine how humbling that is.

I have spent most of my adult life on the outs with God and Religion. At times I was angry and at times I was disillusioned with life and “God.” More often than not, I felt much like Joseph Smith did so long ago. I wanted to believe. I needed to believe! I just didn't know how to believe. Like Smith, I pondered how what is supposedly one religion, Christianity could have so many different teachings and versions. I wondered how Christianity could have so many different versions of a Holy Text. After all, if the Bible was meant to be the true word of God, there really shouldn't be different versions of it.

Unlike Joseph Smith however, I had long since stopped asking questions. I had essentially given up. I figured I was doing alright so why worry about if there was a God and if He existed, who was right about him. I also figured with all the wrongs I had done in my life there was probably no hope of me ever being forgiven or redeemed.

It took an amazing woman and her family to reach out first to my wife and then later to me to show me that all was not lost. Stephanie Gisseman and her amazing family taught me that no matter how old I was or how far gone I thought I was, that there was always a chance to find my way back. Amazingly enough, they did this without preaching or proselytizing. They taught me the best way any one can be taught and that was through example and kindness. The sheer joy and love that her family gives out to anyone who needs it was more than enough to help me start along the path Home. If God can be said to have sent anyone to help anyone, He sent the Gissemans to help me when I really needed it.

Of course, as I have mentioned in previous blogs, the Elders that were sent to help us learn, grow prepare are just as amazing. They taught us with a incredible sense of joy and love. They went beyond the call of duty many times to find answers for the questions we had. Elder Brown spent God only knows how many answers diligently researching just one question my Wife had because she couldn't move forward in her studies until she knew the answer. The Elders showed us the way simply by being amazing people.

Course, credit wouldn't be complete if I didn't give a shout out to everyone in my Geezer Class (High Priests). The almost manic energy those older men have when we are discussing various aspects of Mormonism is contagious. Some of these Men have been Mormons for a long time, but their love of Faith and Energy of Testimony could sway the hardest heart. So again, thanks where thanks is deserved.

Tomorrow night, we will take the plunge (Literally in this case) and be Baptized. I don't see that as the “finish line” but just another step on my Trek. I know that I will be tested in the future and I know I will falter, but with the help and love of those around me, I also know I will make it. My original intent had just to do this blog up until my Baptism, but I now intend on keeping the blog going. It helps me think and it helps me meditate. I hope all of you will keep reading and even tell your friends about it. If my words and musings can help you in anyway, even if it is just to make you smile, please keep reading.

I say these things in Jesus Christ's name, Amen.

Aced the final Exam! Praise God!

So last night was the BIG INTERVIEW with the Elders to make sure that my Wife and I had learned all of the lessons that we needed to understand to be ready for Baptism on Saturday. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was as nervous as you could possibly get and not flatline your heart. I have never done well with tests of any kind and this was definitely one of the most important that I have ever taken.

Well like so many other things in life that seem so frightening before you face them, the actual event was not only very easy, but very enjoyable as well. I spoke with the Elder interviewing me for about an hour and a half while he went through his questions about all the things I should have been taught by our own set of Elders. Even though the tone was both serious and reverent, I felt completely relaxed and even managed to joke a little as we went along. (As a side note here I was not expecting an Elder to have extensive knowledge of the Classic Comedy Movie, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, but he was actually able to match me quote for quote.)

Not too long ago, one of our Elders completely blew my mind and made me feel incredibly humbled when he testified that he believed that WE were the reason that God had sent him to Virginia. Can you imagine the feeling when someone tells you with complete sincerity that God sent him to us? My mind is still reeling from that admission.

Last night, my Interviewer listened to all of the stories of the things that I believe God has done for us ever since we started this trek. As usual, I felt a little silly describing what I thought must sound like mundane events as miracles even though to me the things that have happened were clear proof of His works. After I finished my stories, the Interviewer looked completely stunned and awed. He honestly thanked me for sharing the miracles large and small that have come to us in the past few months. His honest and pure appreciation was a little overwhelming to say the least.

So now, with only a couple of days away from our Baptisms, I am just so incredibly grateful for everyone from the Sisters who first visited us to Elders Sahagin and Brown who are guiding us today. So many people have shaped our journey and supported us along the way. My Wife's best friend, Stephanie and her amazing family who sheltered and loved her when she first moved here to VA are truly the reason that we started this journey. If anyone deserves the credit for helping us find our way home, it is them. Elder Gates who has since gone back home to his own family stepped up to the plate big time with his companion, Elder Sahagin. Brothers Johson and Snyder who made me feel so welcome and appreciated and Brother Gezzell who made me laugh on so many occasions should receive medals for their dedication to a tired old Sinner like me.

(Another aside here, I am pretty sure I just mangled almost everyone's names and I apologize. It is late and I am tired and I have no clue where the sheet of paper is with everyone's spellings.)

I believe that the Devil is doing his best to stop this. A massive 5+ day long Migraine has kept me from doing as much as I could in the Church and even forced me to miss 60% of Church last Sunday. My own fears and uncertainties have been trying to slow us down and other things just seem to have conspired to stop this next step. However, I promise you that we are too close to stop now or be stopped now. Barring keeling over from a heart attack before Saturday. I will be there to finally come Home. Way to many people have worked much too hard for me to even think about giving up. So just keep us in your prayers for the next couple of days to give us a little extra strength. I have a hunch we are going to need it.

Amen

There will always be obstacles else life would hath no challenge.

My Momma always said, “When things are going good for you, the Devil will always try to hold you back.” Never have I seen that saying to be true than today. Suddenly, things are looking better for me and my family than they have in a very long time, but forces seemed determined to thwart it all and keep us down.

After being out of work for nearly 5 years now, I have received not one, but two job offers with respectable companies making a good salary. If I can get one of these jobs, we will finally be able to start crawling out from the money problems that have been plaguing us ever since I lost my job. Don't get me wrong, thanks to the brilliant and often times miraculous efforts of my Amazing Wife, we have never been in danger of losing our house or car nor have we ever been in danger of starving. Somehow she has managed to keep us afloat when so many people have gone under, but either of these new jobs will help us do more than just manage.

That's where the Devil steps in. All of my life, with maybe two exceptions, I have worked jobs that were basically shirt sleeves and jeans. I have usually worked with my hands and dressing for the job meant basically putting on a pair of jeans and a shirt. The only real suit I ever owned was the one I got married in and that was 12 inches and 120 lbs ago. So now, I have to dress Business Dress which means slacks, nice shirt, tie and a Jacket. The shirts I got thanks to Gifts of the Heart, same with ties. I own one pair of slacks and Zero jackets. See what I mean about the Devil stepping in?

If I can get this job, I can finally start giving back to our family. I can finally start helping pay the bills and such. To get the job, I need a new suit. To keep the job after I get it, I am going to need more slacks, Jackets etc. Unfortunately, to buy the things I need, I would need to get the jobs since our budget does not cover new clothes for me especially suits and jackets that can run hundreds of dollars. So God gives me gifts and the Devil does his best to steal them away.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. God has done so much for us ever since we started this journey that a few obstacles thrown in my way is not going to discourage me. At this point, I cannot see a way to get the things I need, but I am sure with God's help I will fins a way. I just have to take it one step at a time. I have come to far to falter now.

Amen

Final Exam Jitters times a 1000

So tomorrow night is the night we get interviewed by the Church to make sure that our Elders have been teaching us everything we need to know and understand before we take the huge plunge (A little Baptism Humor there.) and get Baptized on Saturday. Even though our Elders have been amazing and taught us so many incredible things, I find myself facing tomorrow with more than a little bit of trepidation.

Tests of any kind have always intimidated me and generally the more important the test is, the worse my fears become. Back in College, Mid Terms and Finals were fuel for the ulcer in my belly big time. It didn't matter how much I prepared for the tests or how well I knew the material, I was still nervous as heck. So you can imagine the level of nerves I am feeling right now.

Yes, I know if I “fail” the test, all that will happen is that it will take a little longer before we are Baptized. Yes, I know that this test is one with a nearly infinite number of “do-overs.” That still doesn't keep me from being nervous.

I mean, it is kind of like you are facing an entrance exam to the Coolest Club in the Universe. All the really great people are already members and the Club Rewards are literally out of this world. You have worked hard to get accepted into the club and it is all down to the final interview. Who wouldn't be more than a little bit nervous?

Our Elders, Sahagin, Brown and Elder Gates who has since returned home after helping us start our journey have been so patient with us and helped us so much that there are no words to describe the love that my Wife and I feel for them. They have spent many a long evening in our home patiently explaining scriptures and passages to us. They have worked so hard and I feel that I personally would not be where I am today without them. This is one of the few times where I truly wished I was wealthy because if I had the money, I would fly Elder Gates back to VA just so that he could be there to see all of the things he worked hard for come to pass. There is nothing I would love more than to see him standing beside the other Elders on Saturday night when we get Baptized.

So this interview is an acknowledgment of how hard the Elders and the other members of our Amazing Ward have worked (You too Stephanie!) to get us almost Home. Of course this only adds to the nervousness factor.

Still, I am confident that we are so very close to coming Home and I pray to Heavenly Father that he gives me the calm and courage I am going to need to Ace this final exam. Keep us in your prayers just in case.

Amen

Closing in on the finish line.

So 5 days and counting till my Wife and I make the huge leap of faith and get Baptized. It seems like such a short time since we started this incredibly exciting and often times scary trip. Now with the finish line so close at hand, it seems so much larger and intimidating than it did weeks ago. Part of me questions if I am doing the right thing. I wonder if I am being foolish. After all I spent decades without any sort of real spiritual anchor and I did just fine. So now, so late in life, what makes me really think that I am doing the right thing?

I guess the “easy” answer to that is because I have faith. I have faith that all of the amazing miracles and signs that have guided us this far have not led us wrong. I have faith that no matter how strong my fears are that there is some incredible force out there who will help me face them. I have faith that finally after so many years in the Wilderness I am finally moving towards the light of Home.

Like I said, that is the “easy” answer because it is the simplest. But there are other answers too which aren't as simple, but just as strong. Monday nights are the nights when our amazing Elders come over and visit with us to make sure we are doing well and to help us learn a little bit more about our new Faith. I can never say enough good things about all of the amazing Missionaries and the heartfelt love and devotion they bring into our lives. One Elder told us that he truly believed that WE were the reason he was sent on his Mission so that he could help us find our way Home. Words cannot describe how intensely moving and loving that is to us. So our Missionaries and their incredible strength of devotion and faith is another reason why I believe we are on the right path.

The amazing members of our Church have literally gone out of their way since we joined to make us feel loved and welcome. At no time (Even though I do tease the Elders and the members of my Geezer Class otherwise) have we ever felt pressured to do more. Our new Family has let us learn and grow at our own speed with nothing but love and support the entire way. They are the reason I believe we are on the right path.

I have seen literally miracles occur ever since we began this journey. I don't mean just good things happening, but very literally miracles. Some of them might strike you as trivial, but to me they are as much a sign of Heavenly Father's Hand as the parting of the Red Sea.

A good example which most mind find trivial is our oldest cat, Willow. Ever since she was a kitten she has had severe Litter Box Avoidance issues where she would completely ignore the litter boxes no matter how clean they were and do her business on the floors. No matter what we tried, she would never use the litter box. We were terrified that the trauma of moving to a new home would cause ever more adverse reactions from her. However, from pretty much the first week we were in our new house, she was completely relaxed and content AND she has been using her litter boxes every single day. Doesn't really compare to the Loaves and Fishes, but to us it is truly a miracle.

On our last trip back to Warner Robins, GA to meet the movers, we had a flat tire out in literally the middle of nowhere. Our GPS couldn't find a tire place anywhere that carried the odd sized tire our car uses. We were at our wits end because we were stuck 60 miles from anywhere rolling down the Interstate at 50 MPH on our doughnut spare. We were stressed and grumpy and more than a little bit scared. Finally, I prayed to God for help. Immediately we both felt better and after stopping briefly at a cast iron cookware store, my wife found a small, family operated service station in a small town that just happened to have a used tire in the size we needed. We were fixed and on the road again in less than an hour.

There are four or five more tales I could tell that I believe are true miracles that were gifted to us by God even before we made the decision to be Baptized. Like I have said in past blogs, so many things have happened to us or been done for us that tell me that we are making the right decision. We have found our way Home again and nothing will ever take that away from us.

Amen