Food for thought

I missed church today. Now before somebody starts yelling at me, allow me to modify that statement. My wife and I missed our regular services because we drove to Leesburg to attend services with our wonderful friends the Gissemans. Stephanie's oldest daughter is about to leave on her Mission and today was the last day she would be speaking before her departure. Needless to say, we couldn't miss this for the world.

As we attended services I was struck with two ideas. I think the two ideas kind of best frame some of the brightest points in the Mormon Faith. The two concepts were: Family and Service. Some of the people I have mentioned the Mission to were astounded that Stephanie would allow her daughter to go to Honduras which is easily one of the most dangerous spots in the world. One person even said, “No Real Mother who loved her child would allow them to be sent into such danger.”

A part of me can understand these thoughts. The girl is going into dangerous lands with nothing more to protect her than some bug spray and her Book of Mormon. If something does happen to her, her family is a very long way off. It is a little scary to contemplate for me so I can only imagine how it is for her parents.

However, one of the most basic tenets of Mormonism is service. Service to God, Service to the Church and Service to your fellow man. There is nothing in any of those ideas that reads “Service when it is safe and comfortable for you.” People that seem like children to my ripe old age of 50 go to some of the most dangerous places in the world to serve the people that need their help and try to bring them closer to God. They do this with no hope of rewards greater than helping their fellow man and the joy that the service will bring.

As newly come to the Faith that I am, I often wonder of I can be so brave when the time comes for any children I have to serve. I like to think that I am and I pray that I will be if and when that time comes.

The other aspect I saw portrayed today was Family. Not just our blood family, but the extended spiritual family that has been gifted to us for our Faith. I had never been to Stephanie's Ward before today, but I was made to feel very welcome. Complete strangers came up to me and expressed their joy in having me there and were completely sincere in that joy. I was mildly miffed that the story of my near drowning during my Baptism had already spread, but took it in good spirits.

After services, I was treated to an amazing afternoon with Stephanie and her extended family. I was treated to laughter and funny stories and even some good natured teasing. I saw Generations of the same family seated at the dinner table celebrating the Mission and simply celebrating each other. It felt amazing.

I have so many things to give thanks for since beginning this Trek and it feels like each new week just gives me more and more reasons. I am grateful for all I have seen and learned and grateful for all the things to come.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Heading uphill towards Home

This afternoon just proves to me that you can get inspiration from any source at any time and turn it into some sort of Testament if you know where to look and stop to think about it for just a minute. It doesn't always come in Church or in Prayer, but can often come from a simple event in day to day life if you can just see it.

I have recently started riding my bike again in an attempt to help keep my blood sugar under better control and get back into shape after not exercising for quite some time. I enjoy riding because I always feel so energized and happy after a good hour long ride. However, due to the fact that I am badly out of practice riding, it can be very tiring too. Especially on hills which are very plentiful here in VA.

Right outside of our neighborhood, if you turn left, there is a very very very long hill. It isn't exceptionally steep, but it is very long. Needless to say, in my current condition, getting to the top of that hill every day is a very big challenge. In my current state, I generally ride about half way up it then wind up pushing the bike the rest of the way to the top. Eventually my goal is to be able to pedal my bike all the way to the top but that is still a wee bit in the future.

As I reached the “Okay I walk from here” point today, I pondered how getting out of my neighborhood was really hard because of that hill, but at least getting back into it was easy because it was all down hill. Then it struck me that this was a great analogy for Faith and Devotion to God. How being on a true path to Salvation was like trying to ride your bike up a very steep hill and how taking the path away from God was like coasting downhill.

Think about it. Doing the right thing is never easy. My Father always said, “Bobby, if doing the right thing was easy, everybody would do it.” The Path to God is fraught with obstacles both of our own making and ones put in front of us from the outside. We stumble and we struggle every day to do the right thing and follow the right path so that we can be worthy of Heavenly Father's gifts and love. I struggle every day with blocks that range from the simple (I SO MISS COFFEE!) to the sublime (Is this the right path for me? Am I making the right choices?) Every step along this Trek is never easy and sometimes difficult.

On the other hand, giving up and returning to the old ways would be so easy. After all, I went without His love for decades. I avoided religion like the plague. I never worried about whether I was doing the right thing or following the right path. Why not just stop trying to peddle uphill and coast? Downhill is always easier and so many people seem to choose that path. Why keep struggling with my Faith and Fears when I can just go and coast?

I keep riding my bike even when it is tiring because I Know that it helps me. I know that all of the hard work will pay off in the long run with better health and a better attitude. Sure it is hard work sometimes, especially on that first massive hill, but if I keep going everything will be better.

My Faith is very much like that. Everyday I face obstacles that it would be very easy to avoid. I stand at the bottom of a steep hill and ponder if it is really worth it to climb that hill to get to my goal at the top. I am tempted to just relax and take the easy way. However, I know that God is waiting for me at the top of that massive hill. I know that the rewards I will receive once I get there are worth any efforts and pains I might undergo along the way. So I am going to keep climbing that hill even though I am so very tired because I know Home is waiting for me when I get there.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Another type of Testament

     (Bear with me on this one.  This is actually written for one of my other blogs, but I felt the description of the journey I was forced to undertake would give my readers here a unique perspective into exactly how far I have come over the past few years with the help of God and all of the amazing people in my life.  Even though it is not my usual Testament, I hope that you find it inspiring and uplifting and maybe just a little bit funny.  Thank you all.)

 

For those who have just joined us, I am a Diabetic and have been for several years now. I became one out of a combination of genetic predisposition and outright stupidity. The genetic part comes from the fact that my Mother was a Diabetic and so were several people on both sides of my family so I was genetically predisposed towards contracting the disease to begin with. The stupid part comes in when I completely and utterly ignored this fact.

Before I got sick, I weighed 360 pounds (Maybe more, our scales didn't go any higher than 350.and ate pretty much everything I wanted to in insane amounts. My favorite snack was a two liter of Coca-Cola and one of those GIANT Hershey's with Almond Bars. Yeah, that was my snack. I drank at least 4 or more 16+ energy drinks a day and could easily snarf down a dozen donuts all by myself. Now all the experts will tell you that you cannot contract Diabetes from simply eating too much sugar and they are correct. (Of course they are correct, they are the experts after all.) However you sure can push your luck to the breaking point and that is what I did.

Now I am not doing this little piece to whinge about having to take pills and jab myself in the belly with a syringe every night. I am man enough to admit that I brought it on myself and strong enough to accept the consequences of my earlier choices. Truth be told, contracting Diabetes may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Well, okay second best after meeting my amazing wife. Getting sick forced to me to make lifestyle choices that I would have never made if the threat of DYING hadn't been introduced.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007A53SC0

For those who haven't read it yet, this book describes my discovering I had the disease, my initial reactions to it and the journey I undertook to change my life. It talks about how my life has changed both physically and spiritually. All proceeds from the sales of this book go towards combating Juvenile Diabetes. Please buy and help us find a cure. (Reviews and star ratings would be great too.)

No, this little piece is talking about all of the amazing developments in science that have helped me live a somewhat healthy (Still backslide sometimes) life free of excessive carbs and loads of sugar. No, I am not talking about new advances in drug treatment even though those have been amazing. I am not talking about the astounding technological advances. (Artificial Pancreas anyone? Targeted Insulin Delivery Systems? How about growing brand new organs from stem cells? Geez Science Fiction 20 years ago anyone?) Nope, this talk is about sugar free food and drink products.

Now, when I was a kid, Diet Drinks might have just as well been Dying Drinks because only desperate people actually drank them. Early attempts at sugar free foods produced foods that might have been vaguely nutritious, but had the taste and texture of wood. Sugar free chocolates and other candies were still the pipe dreams of people everywhere and don't even get me started on cereals where even the Corn Flakes had added sugar. I always tell people, semi-jokingly, that if I had become a Diabetic twenty or thirty years ago, I would have either died of starvation or sugar overdose.

These days, I have found so many incredible foods, drinks and snacks that are not only Diabetic Friendly, but taste great. One of our favorite stops when we go back to see my In-laws is the Russel Stovers Factory Outlet where they have, literally, aisle after aisle of sugar free snacks. Diet Coke and Pepsi still taste pretty much the same way they did 20 years ago, but Coke Zero and Pepsi Maxx taste close enough to the original that it doesn't even matter. There is even a delicious Pasta that is Diabetic Friendly. Not to mention a bevy of Sugar-Free Energy Drinks.

I can credit many things with my not only surviving Diabetes, but actually thriving. My Amazing Wife who supported me and cared for me all of this time. My incredible friends who never gave up on me. Even my sometimes spotty Faith helped keep me going and now that I have rediscovered my Path, keeps me strong and uplifted. However, I acknowledge that I am only human and beset with the same temptations that plague everyone every day and I am certain that I would have succumbed to those temptations far more than I have if it hadn't been for the relatively new dietary options available today.

In closing, I want to acknowledge all of the scientific research that indicates that many of the artificial sweeteners used in these products can be bad for you. (Seriously though folks, Aspartame is not the evil substance that all of the Facebook Posts make it out to be. That is a hoax perpetrated by parties unknown and continued by people who don't bother to do their own research and believe what they read on the Internet. ( http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/aspartame.asp) However, there are many natural Diabetes Friendly sweeteners out there now and many popular brands including Coca-Cola are starting to use them. In the end, I offer the same advice for non-sugar sweeteners as people off for sugar and high calorie foods. Everything is okay as long as you take it in moderation.

Amen and God Bless

Grinding away at my obstacles

After a visit list night from our amazing Elders Sahagun and Brown, I realized that I had failed to post a funny and somewhat spiritual story about what happened last Thursday when the Elders came over to give us our final briefing before the Baptism on Saturday. I thought it was funny and the Elders told me that they greatly enjoyed and appreciated what happened.

First of all a little bit of background. I LOVE coffee. I have been drinking it since I was 12 and never started a day without at least two mugs of it. Now let me clarify, I was not addicted to it because of its caffeine content. For caffeine, I am thoroughly addicted to Red Bulls and other energy drinks. I am working on that and that is another story entirely.

When we first started on this Trek, I very seriously told the Elders that I would take it as a sign from God that I was on the right track if I discovered a Coffee Substitute that tasted exactly like real coffee or else I knew I would be unable to give up Coffee as per Church instruction. There was also a little something about sugar free sour gummi worms too, but that is also another story. My wonderful wife looked far and wide for a non-coffee substitute, but I had little hope of her succeeding.

Finally just a month or so ago, she discovered an amazing “Herbal Coffee” Brand that contained absolutely no coffee but was made from Chicory, Malt and other sources. (http://teeccino.com/category/11/Herbal-Coffees.html) just in case any of you want to try it. They also have an extensive selection of Herbal Teas. So after a few trial and error attempts, I discovered two different types of Teeccino which taste exactly like coffee but contain no coffee beans at all. So I could still have my “Coffee” when ever I wanted and still obey Church Rules. Needless to say I was ecstatic. (As a side note, the “Coffee” is great because it supplies energy and taste naturally without caffeine or acids like coffee does so I can enjoy it any time of the day even right before bed without losing sleep.)

So on Thursday, just as they were about to leave, I asked the Elders if they would help me with something. I handed them my very large tin of coffee and asked them if they would like to take it downstairs and toss it in the trash can out back. You would have thought it was Christmas and I had just given them the best presents ever. They trotted downstairs and I watched as one held the trash can lid while the other gleefully flung the coffee tin into the trashcan. (I believe Sahagun held while Brown tossed, but I don't remember clearly.)

They later told me it was one of the best moments in their time here in VA. I was glad I could give them yet another chance to know just how much they have helped me with their love and support. I am still working on wanting coffee. Any time I pass by a Coffee Shop or walk past the coffee aisle in the Grocery Store I am tempted. However, I am greatly enjoying my Herbal Coffee and look forward to trying some of the other types. I guess it shows that even with the simplest of things, if you need him to God will show you a way.

Amen

So close but yet so far away.

“For every gift that God gives you in your life, the Devil will place two obstacles in your way to keep you from moving forward.” Betty Sue McLeod

So today I attended a second round call back for one of the jobs I had applied for last week. I arrived early and was dressed very smartly in one of the shirts I got from Gifts of the Heart and one of the two jackets I was lucky enough to get there as well. I aced the initial interview, impressed my two handlers who went out to evaluate me. I impressed in the final interview section and received glowing praise from my handlers. They told me that I had the job! Then they told me the hours and that pretty much blew my elation out of the waters.

See, currently my Wife and I have only one car. We cannot afford another vehicle right now. Well, let me modify that statement. We cannot afford a vehicle that would pass the very stringent Virginia Safety and Emissions Standards without spending even more money getting the car up to spec. So my Wife has to be at work at 0700 hours Monday-Friday and gets back to Woodbridge, VA around 1630-1730 every afternoon. There can be some slight variable in that schedule but not a lot. So when I was told that My hours would be from 1130-1800 hours Monday-Friday, my heart sank because I knew that there was very little chance of us being able to work that out.

Sure enough, after She spent several hours working at the problem we couldn't find a single solution that would work for us. We looked at bus schedules, train schedules and even pondered Her riding with her best friend to her house and waiting for me there until I got off work. This was the most viable plan but would involved spending money we don't have on a lot of gas plus putting 500+ miles a week of wear and tear on the car. In the end, we decided that it just wasn't possible. So I called my Interviewer and informed him that I would be unable to take the job.

Now a part of me is truly worried. What if all of the jobs I might find are of similar make? Without a car, it is going to be more difficult than I believed to find a job that works for both of us. My Wife's job must always have top priority because her income is significantly higher than anything I could possibly hope to make, at least for the first year or so. What if I can't get a job that will allow us both to use the car?

Of course, ideally we should just get another car, but that goes back to the old Catch 22 idea. I need a car to get a job, but I need a job to get a car. With two house notes and bills for two houses, we just don't have the kind of money to buy or even get a loan for the kind of car that might possibly be drivable in this city. It is beyond frustrating to say the least.

Still I have faith that something good will happen. I know that we came to this city for a reason and I have come too far to give up now. I just have to keep trying, praying and hoping. Any happy thoughts and prayers sent our way would be greatly appreciated. We most certainly need all the help we can get. God will provide if I just have faith.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

First Steps on a Brand New Trek

After a very exciting and a little scary (Slipped in the font while being dunked. Lol) Baptism last night, today was the day that my amazing Wife and I were confirmed as members of the Church and received the blessing of the Holy Ghost. Having all of the people who have supported and encouraged me over the past few months there with us just made the experience even more amazing. I am honored by the gift that was given to me.

Being the sort of person I am, before the Confirmation, I read dozens of accounts from people who had received the Holy Ghost and how it affected them. Most of the ones I read talked about the person instantly felt the power of the Holy Ghost flow through them when the Confirmation was performed. My experience was a little different.

I can honestly say that I didn't feel some overwhelming force pass through me as I received the Holy Ghost. I wasn't instantly charged with its power and changed forever in an instant. What I did feel was an incredible sense of Love and Support flowing not just from the Priests performing the ceremony, but from every single person in the Church. The waves of Compassion and pure unadulterated Love flowed over me like waters on the beach.

Ever since we started this Trek, I have been given more than most people experience in their entire lives. Kindness and friendship eased every single bump and fear I encountered. All of this was given without any sense of a need for a return. The Brothers and Sisters I met reached out simply because they felt the need to. Not once did I feel that they were doing these things out of some desire to force me along a path that I did not want to follow.

I have had experiences with many different Sects of Christianity over the decades and almost universally the “True Believers” were aggressive and oftentimes condescending. They made me feel as if I was lower than low because I did not believe the way they did. In their “devotion”, they easily drove me away even when I wanted to learn and believe.

Today just proved all that I have seen and felt during the past few months. I stood in front of my Family in my Home with my heart and soul bared for all to see. Not once did I sense any judging or questioning of my Heart and Soul. Everyone there was proud of me and happy that I had finally made my way Home. I hope that each and every one of you have felt or will one day felt how amazing that feels.

Today was just the first step on a brand new Trek and I know I still have a long way to go before I am deserving of the trust and love that all of you have given me. With God's strength and love, I know I will make it as far as I need to go. With the Love and Friendship that my Brothers and Sisters give me, I know I do not have to make that trip alone. Thank you.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

I survived the Ritual Drowning! (My Wife's joke)

So tonight was the big night. The night when my Wife and I take the plunge in both a literal sense and spiritual sense and get Baptized. Needless to say I was a nervous wreck all day long, but we managed to get dressed and get to the Church on time. Seeing so many friends, old and new there with us to share this moment was amazing. I felt an astonishing amount of love coming from every person there.

Two of the Members of my Geezer class truly moved me with words I was not expecting. Brother Gezzell looked me right in the eye and said that he loved me and felt like he had known me all of his life even though we met only a few short months ago. Brother Tibbetts gave a truly inspiring talk on the Holy Ghost and seemed so proud to be up there speaking for us. He later told me that it had been a Honor to be chosen to speak for me. Choosing a speaker from my class wasn't easy because they are all so amazing, but I am glad he was there to speak for us.

The actual Baptism was equal parts inspiring/scary and uncomfortable. The jumpsuit given to me to wear was a little tight across the chest and in the legs, so needless to say when it got soaked everything shrank up and got really binding. Elder Sahagun did a marvelous job Baptizing me and my Wife and I am pretty sure he saved my life because when I came back up from the dunking, my right foot slipped and I went back under again. Somehow, the slim young man managed to keep hold of me AND pull me back up again. At 235 pounds, I am a hefty guy but he managed it. Must have been adrenaline.

After we got dried off, we went back into the church for the rest of ceremony. My Wife's best friend, Stephanie gave a wonderful speech and touched us when she said they considered us part of her family. By the time it was all over, I felt truly loved and cherished.

So tomorrow is the day when we are Confirmed and that final step will start us on the next stage of our Trek. As we go along, I will try to chronicle it here for you to see. I am sure we still have many adventures and misadventures still to come. I hope you will stay with me as I tell them all.

I apologize for the shortness of tonight's post. It has been a long and very tiring day. I will be more verbose tomorrow after a good night's sleep. Good night every one and God Bless.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Thank you all for joining me on this trek.

It is funny, but I initially started this blog as a way of helping me think about all of the things that have happened to my family since we started our Trek Home. I never pondered if it would reach anyone else or even if it would be read by others. It really was just a way of gathering my thoughts and trying to understand everything that is going on. I never imagined that there would literally be hundreds of people out there who would read this words and respond to them the way that people have.

For those who don't know, I am an Author by trade. I have been putting pen to paper (First literally and later figuratively) for 34 years. I have had some modicum of success with several short stories published as well as literally 1000s of articles printed over the years. Recently I have published 4 books which have sold fairly well. Words are my living and how I frame the world I see around me. So when Paula and I first started our journey, I did what I always did and wrote about it. I don't think it ever occurred to me that my words might in some way touch others.

In the few short weeks since I began this journal, several hundred people have read the words within. They have read about my struggles and my revelations. They have watched as my faith and my hopes grew and strengthened. They have cried when I cried and cheered when I cheered. In a very real way, my readers have become a part of my Church's Extended Family even though they live all over the world.

That is right, all over the world. This blog now has readers in over a half dozen countries including England, France and incredibly enough China! People who might not even read or speak English log on every day and read about the latest chapter in this new life of mine. You cannot imagine how humbling that is.

I have spent most of my adult life on the outs with God and Religion. At times I was angry and at times I was disillusioned with life and “God.” More often than not, I felt much like Joseph Smith did so long ago. I wanted to believe. I needed to believe! I just didn't know how to believe. Like Smith, I pondered how what is supposedly one religion, Christianity could have so many different teachings and versions. I wondered how Christianity could have so many different versions of a Holy Text. After all, if the Bible was meant to be the true word of God, there really shouldn't be different versions of it.

Unlike Joseph Smith however, I had long since stopped asking questions. I had essentially given up. I figured I was doing alright so why worry about if there was a God and if He existed, who was right about him. I also figured with all the wrongs I had done in my life there was probably no hope of me ever being forgiven or redeemed.

It took an amazing woman and her family to reach out first to my wife and then later to me to show me that all was not lost. Stephanie Gisseman and her amazing family taught me that no matter how old I was or how far gone I thought I was, that there was always a chance to find my way back. Amazingly enough, they did this without preaching or proselytizing. They taught me the best way any one can be taught and that was through example and kindness. The sheer joy and love that her family gives out to anyone who needs it was more than enough to help me start along the path Home. If God can be said to have sent anyone to help anyone, He sent the Gissemans to help me when I really needed it.

Of course, as I have mentioned in previous blogs, the Elders that were sent to help us learn, grow prepare are just as amazing. They taught us with a incredible sense of joy and love. They went beyond the call of duty many times to find answers for the questions we had. Elder Brown spent God only knows how many answers diligently researching just one question my Wife had because she couldn't move forward in her studies until she knew the answer. The Elders showed us the way simply by being amazing people.

Course, credit wouldn't be complete if I didn't give a shout out to everyone in my Geezer Class (High Priests). The almost manic energy those older men have when we are discussing various aspects of Mormonism is contagious. Some of these Men have been Mormons for a long time, but their love of Faith and Energy of Testimony could sway the hardest heart. So again, thanks where thanks is deserved.

Tomorrow night, we will take the plunge (Literally in this case) and be Baptized. I don't see that as the “finish line” but just another step on my Trek. I know that I will be tested in the future and I know I will falter, but with the help and love of those around me, I also know I will make it. My original intent had just to do this blog up until my Baptism, but I now intend on keeping the blog going. It helps me think and it helps me meditate. I hope all of you will keep reading and even tell your friends about it. If my words and musings can help you in anyway, even if it is just to make you smile, please keep reading.

I say these things in Jesus Christ's name, Amen.

Aced the final Exam! Praise God!

So last night was the BIG INTERVIEW with the Elders to make sure that my Wife and I had learned all of the lessons that we needed to understand to be ready for Baptism on Saturday. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was as nervous as you could possibly get and not flatline your heart. I have never done well with tests of any kind and this was definitely one of the most important that I have ever taken.

Well like so many other things in life that seem so frightening before you face them, the actual event was not only very easy, but very enjoyable as well. I spoke with the Elder interviewing me for about an hour and a half while he went through his questions about all the things I should have been taught by our own set of Elders. Even though the tone was both serious and reverent, I felt completely relaxed and even managed to joke a little as we went along. (As a side note here I was not expecting an Elder to have extensive knowledge of the Classic Comedy Movie, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail, but he was actually able to match me quote for quote.)

Not too long ago, one of our Elders completely blew my mind and made me feel incredibly humbled when he testified that he believed that WE were the reason that God had sent him to Virginia. Can you imagine the feeling when someone tells you with complete sincerity that God sent him to us? My mind is still reeling from that admission.

Last night, my Interviewer listened to all of the stories of the things that I believe God has done for us ever since we started this trek. As usual, I felt a little silly describing what I thought must sound like mundane events as miracles even though to me the things that have happened were clear proof of His works. After I finished my stories, the Interviewer looked completely stunned and awed. He honestly thanked me for sharing the miracles large and small that have come to us in the past few months. His honest and pure appreciation was a little overwhelming to say the least.

So now, with only a couple of days away from our Baptisms, I am just so incredibly grateful for everyone from the Sisters who first visited us to Elders Sahagin and Brown who are guiding us today. So many people have shaped our journey and supported us along the way. My Wife's best friend, Stephanie and her amazing family who sheltered and loved her when she first moved here to VA are truly the reason that we started this journey. If anyone deserves the credit for helping us find our way home, it is them. Elder Gates who has since gone back home to his own family stepped up to the plate big time with his companion, Elder Sahagin. Brothers Johson and Snyder who made me feel so welcome and appreciated and Brother Gezzell who made me laugh on so many occasions should receive medals for their dedication to a tired old Sinner like me.

(Another aside here, I am pretty sure I just mangled almost everyone's names and I apologize. It is late and I am tired and I have no clue where the sheet of paper is with everyone's spellings.)

I believe that the Devil is doing his best to stop this. A massive 5+ day long Migraine has kept me from doing as much as I could in the Church and even forced me to miss 60% of Church last Sunday. My own fears and uncertainties have been trying to slow us down and other things just seem to have conspired to stop this next step. However, I promise you that we are too close to stop now or be stopped now. Barring keeling over from a heart attack before Saturday. I will be there to finally come Home. Way to many people have worked much too hard for me to even think about giving up. So just keep us in your prayers for the next couple of days to give us a little extra strength. I have a hunch we are going to need it.

Amen

There will always be obstacles else life would hath no challenge.

My Momma always said, “When things are going good for you, the Devil will always try to hold you back.” Never have I seen that saying to be true than today. Suddenly, things are looking better for me and my family than they have in a very long time, but forces seemed determined to thwart it all and keep us down.

After being out of work for nearly 5 years now, I have received not one, but two job offers with respectable companies making a good salary. If I can get one of these jobs, we will finally be able to start crawling out from the money problems that have been plaguing us ever since I lost my job. Don't get me wrong, thanks to the brilliant and often times miraculous efforts of my Amazing Wife, we have never been in danger of losing our house or car nor have we ever been in danger of starving. Somehow she has managed to keep us afloat when so many people have gone under, but either of these new jobs will help us do more than just manage.

That's where the Devil steps in. All of my life, with maybe two exceptions, I have worked jobs that were basically shirt sleeves and jeans. I have usually worked with my hands and dressing for the job meant basically putting on a pair of jeans and a shirt. The only real suit I ever owned was the one I got married in and that was 12 inches and 120 lbs ago. So now, I have to dress Business Dress which means slacks, nice shirt, tie and a Jacket. The shirts I got thanks to Gifts of the Heart, same with ties. I own one pair of slacks and Zero jackets. See what I mean about the Devil stepping in?

If I can get this job, I can finally start giving back to our family. I can finally start helping pay the bills and such. To get the job, I need a new suit. To keep the job after I get it, I am going to need more slacks, Jackets etc. Unfortunately, to buy the things I need, I would need to get the jobs since our budget does not cover new clothes for me especially suits and jackets that can run hundreds of dollars. So God gives me gifts and the Devil does his best to steal them away.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. God has done so much for us ever since we started this journey that a few obstacles thrown in my way is not going to discourage me. At this point, I cannot see a way to get the things I need, but I am sure with God's help I will fins a way. I just have to take it one step at a time. I have come to far to falter now.

Amen

Final Exam Jitters times a 1000

So tomorrow night is the night we get interviewed by the Church to make sure that our Elders have been teaching us everything we need to know and understand before we take the huge plunge (A little Baptism Humor there.) and get Baptized on Saturday. Even though our Elders have been amazing and taught us so many incredible things, I find myself facing tomorrow with more than a little bit of trepidation.

Tests of any kind have always intimidated me and generally the more important the test is, the worse my fears become. Back in College, Mid Terms and Finals were fuel for the ulcer in my belly big time. It didn't matter how much I prepared for the tests or how well I knew the material, I was still nervous as heck. So you can imagine the level of nerves I am feeling right now.

Yes, I know if I “fail” the test, all that will happen is that it will take a little longer before we are Baptized. Yes, I know that this test is one with a nearly infinite number of “do-overs.” That still doesn't keep me from being nervous.

I mean, it is kind of like you are facing an entrance exam to the Coolest Club in the Universe. All the really great people are already members and the Club Rewards are literally out of this world. You have worked hard to get accepted into the club and it is all down to the final interview. Who wouldn't be more than a little bit nervous?

Our Elders, Sahagin, Brown and Elder Gates who has since returned home after helping us start our journey have been so patient with us and helped us so much that there are no words to describe the love that my Wife and I feel for them. They have spent many a long evening in our home patiently explaining scriptures and passages to us. They have worked so hard and I feel that I personally would not be where I am today without them. This is one of the few times where I truly wished I was wealthy because if I had the money, I would fly Elder Gates back to VA just so that he could be there to see all of the things he worked hard for come to pass. There is nothing I would love more than to see him standing beside the other Elders on Saturday night when we get Baptized.

So this interview is an acknowledgment of how hard the Elders and the other members of our Amazing Ward have worked (You too Stephanie!) to get us almost Home. Of course this only adds to the nervousness factor.

Still, I am confident that we are so very close to coming Home and I pray to Heavenly Father that he gives me the calm and courage I am going to need to Ace this final exam. Keep us in your prayers just in case.

Amen

Closing in on the finish line.

So 5 days and counting till my Wife and I make the huge leap of faith and get Baptized. It seems like such a short time since we started this incredibly exciting and often times scary trip. Now with the finish line so close at hand, it seems so much larger and intimidating than it did weeks ago. Part of me questions if I am doing the right thing. I wonder if I am being foolish. After all I spent decades without any sort of real spiritual anchor and I did just fine. So now, so late in life, what makes me really think that I am doing the right thing?

I guess the “easy” answer to that is because I have faith. I have faith that all of the amazing miracles and signs that have guided us this far have not led us wrong. I have faith that no matter how strong my fears are that there is some incredible force out there who will help me face them. I have faith that finally after so many years in the Wilderness I am finally moving towards the light of Home.

Like I said, that is the “easy” answer because it is the simplest. But there are other answers too which aren't as simple, but just as strong. Monday nights are the nights when our amazing Elders come over and visit with us to make sure we are doing well and to help us learn a little bit more about our new Faith. I can never say enough good things about all of the amazing Missionaries and the heartfelt love and devotion they bring into our lives. One Elder told us that he truly believed that WE were the reason he was sent on his Mission so that he could help us find our way Home. Words cannot describe how intensely moving and loving that is to us. So our Missionaries and their incredible strength of devotion and faith is another reason why I believe we are on the right path.

The amazing members of our Church have literally gone out of their way since we joined to make us feel loved and welcome. At no time (Even though I do tease the Elders and the members of my Geezer Class otherwise) have we ever felt pressured to do more. Our new Family has let us learn and grow at our own speed with nothing but love and support the entire way. They are the reason I believe we are on the right path.

I have seen literally miracles occur ever since we began this journey. I don't mean just good things happening, but very literally miracles. Some of them might strike you as trivial, but to me they are as much a sign of Heavenly Father's Hand as the parting of the Red Sea.

A good example which most mind find trivial is our oldest cat, Willow. Ever since she was a kitten she has had severe Litter Box Avoidance issues where she would completely ignore the litter boxes no matter how clean they were and do her business on the floors. No matter what we tried, she would never use the litter box. We were terrified that the trauma of moving to a new home would cause ever more adverse reactions from her. However, from pretty much the first week we were in our new house, she was completely relaxed and content AND she has been using her litter boxes every single day. Doesn't really compare to the Loaves and Fishes, but to us it is truly a miracle.

On our last trip back to Warner Robins, GA to meet the movers, we had a flat tire out in literally the middle of nowhere. Our GPS couldn't find a tire place anywhere that carried the odd sized tire our car uses. We were at our wits end because we were stuck 60 miles from anywhere rolling down the Interstate at 50 MPH on our doughnut spare. We were stressed and grumpy and more than a little bit scared. Finally, I prayed to God for help. Immediately we both felt better and after stopping briefly at a cast iron cookware store, my wife found a small, family operated service station in a small town that just happened to have a used tire in the size we needed. We were fixed and on the road again in less than an hour.

There are four or five more tales I could tell that I believe are true miracles that were gifted to us by God even before we made the decision to be Baptized. Like I have said in past blogs, so many things have happened to us or been done for us that tell me that we are making the right decision. We have found our way Home again and nothing will ever take that away from us.

Amen

Stones on the path

There is a very old saying, “You know you are doing the right thing when the Devil tries his best to stop you from doing it.” It is an old Irish Adage that basically teaches why it is so hard to do the right thing. When I was growing up, my Daddy always said, “Bobby, if doing the right thing was easy everyone would do it.” Both sayings teach us that following the right path and doing what is right is very seldom easy and is very often a hard thing to do and today was an excellent example of these concepts.

I have suffered from crippling migraines since I was in my late teens. More often than not, when one hits, I find a nice dark room somewhere and hide until it passes. I don't try to do other things or interact with people. Once upon a time, I had medications to help get me through such episodes, but such medications are expensive and I really haven't had that sort of money, even with insurance, in many many years. For most of the time, I take tons of OTC pain killers and try to survive the pain.

As I have mentioned before in this column, I truly enjoy and treasure Sunday Service especially Geezer (High Priest) Class. All of it is one of the major high parts of my week. So today, even though I was suffering a lot, I got up got dressed and went with my wife to Sunday Service. The moment I stepped into the Chapel, I knew this was a “mistake.” Between the very bright lights and the noises, I felt like someone was drilling into my skull with a rusty drill. Half way through the service, I had to rapidly leave the room and get to the bathroom to be sick to my stomach.

Still despite all of the pain and discomfort, I forced myself to stay for at least the first part of Sunday Service even though every physical thing inside of me was demanding that I give up and go home. I was not able to stay for Sunday School or Geezer Class, but I did manage the one small victory of staying for the first part.

It would have been very easy for me to simply say, “Nope, I am just not going today. I'll go next week.” Certainly a lot of people would have taken the easier route and stayed home hiding under the covers. In times, past I would have done this without even thinking about it. However, as I said, I really enjoy Sunday Services and feel that the spirit and fellowship there lifts some of the feelings of stress and worry off my shoulders.

As the date of our Baptisms grows closer, I suspect things will get even worse. With only 6 days left before our “Ritual Drownings” (My wife's term for it all which has really caught on with the Elders.), I feel like more and more force will be aligned against us. Whether you think that it is Satan working to keep us from God or simply our own deep seated worries and fears acting out, I think this next week is going to be very “interesting.”

That being said, I also feel that if any force can stop this from happening at THIS point in our journey, they are going to have to do a lot better than a migraine and upset stomach. We have been through far too much in such a short period of time to stop now. We have taken a massive leap of faith coming to VA and we have taken many smaller leaps finding the Church and our new family. At this point, all of the hard decisions have been made so it would literally take some earth shattering event to even make us think about reconsidering.

To use a quote from one of my own books, “The path with the most stones only means that only a few have traveled that way.” Doing the right thing is hard so it will always be filled with stones to slow us along our journey. The trick is never how quickly you finish the trek, but that you actually finish it.

Amen

Even small miracles are still miracles.

I think it is funny that when you listen to people testify about everything that Heavenly Father has helped them with, you almost always hear about the big things. Relative passes and God gave the strength to endure and move on. A disaster happens to a family and God helps them survive and thrive. Don't get me wrong, these are important things and the fact that Heavenly Father is there to help should be a comfort to anyone. However, you almost never hear about the little ways that God has helped us in our lives. Maybe it is because the bigger things often times overshadow the small things, but you hardly hear about small things.

As I have mentioned in previous steps of this Trek, since my Wife and I started this amazing and oftentimes scary new journey, God has helped us and supported us in so many different ways from big to small. We still have a long way to go and a lot of obstacles both Worldly and Spiritually to overcome, but I am certain He will be there to help us just as he has in the past. Today was an excellent example of how he helps in the smallest of ways.

I own two wonderful, big and black goofy Labrador Mixes. For most of their life they have been outdoor dogs and never came inside. Mainly because they had been horribly abused as puppies before we rescued them and had never gained enough trust to let us take them inside. When we moved to VA, we decided to see if we could coax them into being mostly indoor dogs since they are getting on up there in years and the weather extremes here can be amazing.

Well, it didn't take much coaxing and now they are quite content to spend most of their days inside curled up on padded beds and relaxing in the AC. Course now we were faced with the task of twice a day, letting them out for a couple of hours so they could get exercise and go to the potty. For the most part, they have managed to make it till I let them out with a few accidents where one of them piddled on the floor. No major issue, I have a great carpet cleaning machine so I just clean up the stain and all is fine.

This morning, when I opened the door to the downstairs area, my nose was assaulted by a combined smell of detergent, urine and feces. Trust me when I say it is an unbelievable combination of odors. Apparently some time before I cam down to let them out, one of them managed to squeeze through the wall joists between their little room and the wash room. I am guessing she really needed to go BAD. I am pretty sure she tried to get through the closed doors, but finally did her business on the floor in front of the door.

Now, I have a temper and it is a pretty bad one. It usually takes a lot to set me off, but when I saw the poop pile on the floor then found Paula's Washing Liquid laying on the floor in the dog room with liquid everywhere because the bottle had cracked from the fall, I almost lost it. Never mind that the dog hadn't meant any harm and had been actually trying to be a good dog and get out to go the bathroom. All I saw was the mess and I was mad. I almost started yelling at my wonderful dogs who did not deserve to be yelled at.

Before I did something I would have regretted, I took a mental and emotional step backwards. I took a very deep breath and I prayed. It wasn't a complicated or deep prayer. I just said, “God, please help me move past this. No damage has been done. The dogs haven't been hurt. The mess can be cleaned up and most of the liquid can be salvaged. Please help me.” The moment I prayed, I felt completely relieved. I patted my lovely dogs and let them out for their romp and cleaned up the mess. Now half an hour or so later, I am completely relaxed with zero stress.

It is true that God helps us with all of the major problems we have in our lives and that is wonderful. More importantly to me, God is there for us even in the most minute thing. He doesn't just give us the strength we need when we Most need it. He gives us his strength constantly and I am forever grateful for that.

Amen

I know these things to be True...

So our amazing set of Elders were over tonight and they brought with them one of the funniest guys from my amazing group from the Geezer class. They are working very hard to get us ready for the Leap of Faith we will be making in just a week or so and we both find their presence comforting as well as enlightening. Entertaining too, but that is another story entirely. After reading a wonderful passage tonight with all five of us taking turns, (Alma Chapter 29 if anyone wishes to see what we read) we talked about the Living Prophet and how the Mormon Church differs so much from all other forms of Christianity.

To me, the most Amazing and Comforting thing about the Mormon Faith is that we do indeed have a Living Prophet who hears the words of God and passes them down to all of the Members of the Church. Other faiths and other Sects all had Prophets in their distant past, but none in modern times. As a matter of fact one of the things I find most confusing about the ones who condemn Mormonism is that they are perfectly okay with prophets and leaders that lived and died thousands of years ago, but have a problem that we have a Prophet who is alive and well today. Somehow it is okay in their minds that people spoke to God long ago, but it is silly that someone can speak to him today.

One of the first questions Elder Sahagin asked me and my wife was “Did we have any problems believing that the Living Prophet spoke with God and Heard His words.” (Slightly paraphrased but that was the general idea.) I could honestly answer that I had no problem believing these things. After all if it could happen in Biblical times, why not today?

This has been a long and sometimes confusing journey for me. I am by nature a Cynic and a Doubter. I have wrestled with the subject of God and Faith for a very long time. I am still wrestling with it and I suppose a part of me will wrestle with it for the rest of my life. That is my nature. However so many things have happened in a very short period of time that seem to point out that we are indeed on the right path now. (Seriously, the list of Miracles both big and small would fill another blog all on their own.) These things show me what our new friends and family tell me are true.

Sometimes, I wonder if people who have never experienced it can understand the incredible sense of being alone and the sometimes overpowering fear you feel when you have no faith to anchor you. You lie to yourself and say that you are doing fine. You fool yourself into believing that you don't need anything else. You don't even understand what you are lacking until someone reaches out to you and helps you stand upright again. We have had so many people helping us and the sincere feelings of love and support that come from them is mind blowing. People that were complete strangers to us when we started this journey have opened their hearts and homes to us.

So after experiencing all of this and the miracles we have seen, I have absolutely no trouble believing that the Book of Mormon is true and that the Living Prophet uses God's wisdom and love to guide us. I still have a long journey ahead of me, but with all of the love and help we have been given, I think I am going to make it.

Amen

Food for the Body and for the spirit.

So last night was one of the most inspiring and somewhat amusing nights of my rather long and odd life. My wife and I had been invited over to one of the Gentlemen from my Geezer Class at Church along with the Elders who are visiting us every week to help us get ready for our new lives as Mormons. So after a very delicious dinner of Chili, Biscuits and Salad which was finished off with an amazing dessert, we settled down in the living room to speak of things spiritual.

The amusing part came when the Elders began their speech on the things that they would like us to work on. It was funny because they had obviously put a lot of time and effort in preparing lessons that they hoped would convince us to make the next steps and, well, we had already made all of those decisions like several days before. So they would star with, “Okay you need to (Insert Subject here) and start to tell us why but we just kind of grinned and told them we had already made that decision. They seemed really stunned after each revelation so I was quietly amused.

The inspiring part came next. Since the Elders had nothing planned beyond the lessons which we had already moved beyond, one Elder suggested that we should work on Testimony since our Baptisms are coming up so soon. (September 21^st! Hoorah!) The Elder that has been with us the longest on this journey went first and the power and love in his statements just uplifted me. I was extremely touched and honored when he said that he believed one of the main reasons he had been sent on his mission to VA was to meet us and help guide us into the arms of the Church. There is nothing more powerful than being told that your lives changed the life of someone else.

I was awed when the Snyders shared their testimonies. You heard the force and power of literally decades serving and being served in the Church. You could feel how their faith guided and supported them in very difficult times. I felt beyond honored with the gift they gave us last night. I am still finding my way on this new path, but I feel a lot stronger after last night.

Testimony is nothing new to me. Pretty much every single Sect of Christianity my Mom joined during my childhood had some version of Testimony that would pop up from time to time. However, I can honestly say no testimony I have ever heard moved me as much as the Elders and Snyders last night.

I feel like I have just set foot on a very long path fraught with perils and pits and I know I still have a very long way to go. I will stumble and I will fall as I go, but as long as I have friends like these, I know I will never completely lose my way and eventually I will find my way home.

Amen

Fellowship at its finest

If you listen to a lot of various Christians talk about their faith, the word Fellowship seems to come up a lot. You hear them speak on and on about how great the Fellowship is that they share with their fellows. Course if you listen long enough, generally you find that they are speaking of the time they spend in church and not much of other places. The idea seems to be that true Fellowship only happens in the church on the Sabbath. It is what I observed for almost 20 years so I feel safe in making that statement.

Now, one of the many amazing things I have noticed about the Mormon Community is the way that its members take the concept of Fellowship and move it well beyond the Pulpit and into their daily lives. More of the “Talk the talk and Walk the walk” feeling I have spoken of in the past. It seems almost central to the Mormon faith that they extend the hand of friendship and fellowship to everyone around them every day of their lives.

Once again, the amazing Missionaries are one of my prime examples of this. These devoted and hard working young men and women go out pretty much every day in all kinds of weather. They meet with people and spend time with them to try and help them along the Trek that they are on. They share their oftentimes amazing personal stories with people and do everything that they can to help those who want to understand. That is Fellowship.

Another example is what happened today. My wonderful wife and I were invited by her best friend, Stephanie to come over and spend Labor Day with her family. (Keep in mind this is the same Stephanie that I mentioned fully expected my Wife to keep living with her even after I had moved to DC and we had bought a house.) After a wonderful meal of Brats and Burgers, we sat down and we just talked. We talked about jobs, education and of course the Church. Two Elders (Van Dyke and Vela I believe) even stopped by and we had a lively discussion on Baptism and Bargaining. It was very interesting and enlightening.

When any group of people get together and are willing, even eager to share their honest thoughts and feelings under a warm, caring atmosphere it just seems to bring everyone closer to God and Peace. By the time my wife and I left for the hour long drive back home, I felt more relaxed and at peace than I had in a very long time. Isn't that what we are all looking for?

Amen